Posted by mommy_of_3 on January 15, 2002 at 08:37:26:
I REALLY need help.
In short, I have 3 children. A 5 and 4 yr old from my first husband. A 1 year old from my current husband.
My husband lives and works on the West Caost. I am on the East coast. I am struggling fianancially, constantly stressed out trying to balance a full time job, raising 3 children, and trying to make ends meet--which rarely happens anyhow. I have been without cable tv for 4 months (not a nessecity, but handy with 3 kids), and now I am without telephone service (until Monday), and due for shut off with the electric compnay. I am finanacially a wreck--and emotionally drained and overwhelmed with my situation.
I know you are all wondering why I live 2500 miles from my husband--we met in Mew York almost 3 years ago, and neither of us wanted to put our children through any undue emotional upheaval (he ahs a 9 yr old daughter, 11 yr old son from previous marriage) by one of us moving. We chose to commit to one another, and wait until we COULD finally be together--8 or 9 years--when my kids would be old enough to understand and choose where they wish to live.
The time, I feel, has come however--I can't go on like t his. If my motion to relocate with my children is granted, it will afford me the opportunity to be at home for my children during the day--before and after school. I will no longer struggle financially--though we won't be able save thousands of dollars, we will be able pay bills, and still have some left over each month to enjoy the simple things in life. It will give my children consistency, stability and a happier Mom. Right now I am burning the candle at both ends and I am feeling older and more depressed and tired every day that I am unable to be there for my kids during the day.
the only worry i have is the possible effect this will have on my 4 and 5 year old. They now see their father 2 overnights per week. If we move, they'll more than likely see their father for an eight week period in the summers, and 3 weeks in the winter (I'd give him every Christams and New Year, father's day, 4th of July)
would it make me a terrible mother to consider this move? DO I have legal ground to stand on? I feel awful about hurting their Father--but worse about going on this way--sinking fast with 3 beautiful kids...
I am at the end of my rapidly fraying rope.